The third gender
The day I began to look forward to red traffic lights, I realised that my curiosity about the eunuchs (hijras/aruvaanis) was soon turning to be an obsession.
Confident with heads held high, the eunuchs plunge into the traffic day in and out, to make their living by demanding money and at nights adorn shady highways posing as sex workers. Their weapon against the society is their existence - a unique combination of body and soul - that for years have caused dis-belief, anguish, disgust, anger, interest, curiosity and sympathy but has rarely been understood or accepted.
According to a survey done in 2002 it was estimated that there were over 1 million eunuchs in India and only 5% were eunuchs by birth. The rest of them were castrated men. Men, who at a certain age realise that have always been different; that they are a woman's spirit trapped in a man's body; that they can no longer suppress their true nature and talk, dress or behave like a man to please their friends; that their parents are ashamed of accepting them for themselves; that they can in no way think of marrying a woman and pretend to be a father to the kids; that they are homosexuals in a way and are expected to be ashamed about it; that to be happy, understood, accepted and loved for who they really are they need to be away from the society and live with someone who knows what it is to be them.
Sadly, they are still humans who have needs, who are Outcasts in a society where the 'untouchables' are treated better - the price they pay for pursuing happiness and refusing a lifetime of pretense in a society that doesn't leave room for them. After generations of having been humiliated and ill treated, it is only natural that they have turned hostile towards the society, a feeling that that would have been amplified by traumatic personal experiences. Further, having been prey to researchers and NGOs who have manipulated their situation for self benefits, the eunuchs have built dangerous, cold walls that make sure that there is no space for an outsider. There have been several incidents where young boys have been kidnapped by eunuchs and castrated mercilessly, cases where men pretend to be eunuchs to mint money, cases where they inflict themselves on the society and offend its moral sensibilities . There will be much more in the years to come.
But before pointing fingers at them, for our own good in a way, I think it is about time we gear up to face the real issue. Nobody is born a thief. Nobody is a eunuch happily by choice. If we accept them as they are, there would be no reason why they would opt for a humiliating life on the streets far away from their own families.
I dream of a day when a eunuchs are no longer made to feel a minority, can walk with grace and dignity into a beauty salon, cinema hall or ice cream parlor, appear for aptitude examinations or avail bank loans, can be skilled carpenters or practicing lawyers. I dream of a day when they have the opportunity to earn their bread without losing their pride. I dream of a day when I can befriend them and love them as I love my friends. I dream that their dreams will come true. It is definitely not a change that can happen in a year, but a decade might be achievable if the people in power set their minds.
I think the answer lies realising that they are not "Men trying to be women". They are the Third gender.
Note:
These are my personal views and not intended to offend any sentiments. If this article makes you think or nod in agreement, I am glad to hear about it. If you can propose any activity that will go towards helping their cause, I am all ears. If you think otherwise, feel free to enlighten me.
Confident with heads held high, the eunuchs plunge into the traffic day in and out, to make their living by demanding money and at nights adorn shady highways posing as sex workers. Their weapon against the society is their existence - a unique combination of body and soul - that for years have caused dis-belief, anguish, disgust, anger, interest, curiosity and sympathy but has rarely been understood or accepted.
According to a survey done in 2002 it was estimated that there were over 1 million eunuchs in India and only 5% were eunuchs by birth. The rest of them were castrated men. Men, who at a certain age realise that have always been different; that they are a woman's spirit trapped in a man's body; that they can no longer suppress their true nature and talk, dress or behave like a man to please their friends; that their parents are ashamed of accepting them for themselves; that they can in no way think of marrying a woman and pretend to be a father to the kids; that they are homosexuals in a way and are expected to be ashamed about it; that to be happy, understood, accepted and loved for who they really are they need to be away from the society and live with someone who knows what it is to be them.
Sadly, they are still humans who have needs, who are Outcasts in a society where the 'untouchables' are treated better - the price they pay for pursuing happiness and refusing a lifetime of pretense in a society that doesn't leave room for them. After generations of having been humiliated and ill treated, it is only natural that they have turned hostile towards the society, a feeling that that would have been amplified by traumatic personal experiences. Further, having been prey to researchers and NGOs who have manipulated their situation for self benefits, the eunuchs have built dangerous, cold walls that make sure that there is no space for an outsider. There have been several incidents where young boys have been kidnapped by eunuchs and castrated mercilessly, cases where men pretend to be eunuchs to mint money, cases where they inflict themselves on the society and offend its moral sensibilities . There will be much more in the years to come.
But before pointing fingers at them, for our own good in a way, I think it is about time we gear up to face the real issue. Nobody is born a thief. Nobody is a eunuch happily by choice. If we accept them as they are, there would be no reason why they would opt for a humiliating life on the streets far away from their own families.
I dream of a day when a eunuchs are no longer made to feel a minority, can walk with grace and dignity into a beauty salon, cinema hall or ice cream parlor, appear for aptitude examinations or avail bank loans, can be skilled carpenters or practicing lawyers. I dream of a day when they have the opportunity to earn their bread without losing their pride. I dream of a day when I can befriend them and love them as I love my friends. I dream that their dreams will come true. It is definitely not a change that can happen in a year, but a decade might be achievable if the people in power set their minds.
I think the answer lies realising that they are not "Men trying to be women". They are the Third gender.
Note:
These are my personal views and not intended to offend any sentiments. If this article makes you think or nod in agreement, I am glad to hear about it. If you can propose any activity that will go towards helping their cause, I am all ears. If you think otherwise, feel free to enlighten me.
13 comments:
Well, eunuchs have every right to be treated the same way as everyone else. That being said, they're transsexuals, and I think they'd be much happier to be called women rather than a third gender. The world (at least our generation) accepts transsexuals not as deviants, but as people who are, well, different.
But really, I've hardly had any interaction with eunuchs apart from them harassing me for money.
Now it is true that eunuchs need to do this because society doesn't accept them. But how many of them are really trying to break the cycle?
There is an instance where a beautician in Chennai who after witnessing a eunuch being abused in the street, chose to train them. Today they have learnt to dress up tastefully and also have clients of their own who have accepted the services of the eunuchs as they have been loyal clients of the beautician.The credit goes to the beautician. I really am not sure this would have been possible if a eunuch walks into a salon and requests to be trained. Life isn't exactly a bed of roses for them and am sure they have dreams outside begging. As for breaking the cycle in a society that has looked down upon them for generations, harrasment is their only option. I think it is our responsibility as well at some level to make it easy for them, as we form the majority.
The world scenario has changed, but in India, while our generation has recognised the difference, acceptance is wishful thinking.
Its quite surprising that some people actually 'choose' to become eunuchs though they know the way our society treats them.
obviously they are citizens of our nation and they can avail of all the rights like anybody else. If only people would stop treating them with spite, they would be quite capable of making a life and living for themselves.
Hi Aparna,
I am sumi's friend and came across this blog from your Facebook profile. If I say the way you write is amazing, it's an understatement. I am at a loss for adjectives to describe your blog. And the way you think,its truly unparalleled. I could relate more to this particular post since I have always been as curious as you have been to understand enunchs. I comply with what you say and its sad that we don't have the maturity yet to accept them and many others just as they are. Hope there is some light in our generation.
Hi Anusha,
Thanks a bunch :).I'm happy you could relate to it and very glad that you took time to share your views.
I've heard your name often from Sumi. Hope someday we get a chance to meet and chat :)
Can't agree more. Let alone accepting eunuchs as they are, the world will be so much better if the rest of us first accept each other as we are. I think circumstances have actually made eunuchs to accept us as we are. I guess time will tell but keep your dreams coming!
Anon - Interesting to hear ur views. Thanks for dropping by !
Too good. You blog, like you are born to do this. And I feel like you are more mature than people, your age.
Hey ...thanks! Nice of you to say that :) Lakshman rite?
Right, you are!
Its been months since I've seen "The third gender" as you say it. Just today, I was rushing out of my studio for lunch and i was so close i couldn't avoid when i realized its them. I just smiled and said, i will check if i have money. As i opened they saw right through my purse. Its not a bad day for me. I just had a ten. They wish me happiness in life. Weird!
True article abt thirunagai but I don’t have enough knowledge abt thirunagai.
More things invented by these kind of peoples in china. Ex. paper, ink, silks, fireworks…… if you see china history without them is nothing.
They need self-respect with equal to male and female, good education and job opportunity. I hope this will happen soon through some peoples .
I once read in an interview of a eunuch, that he left his job and joined others like him, because that's the only place in the world he felt accepted.
Transvestites were respected and given high honors in earlier times (I know this through Biblical references).
Your article is so poignant and well written. It reminded me of a recent visit to a sort of fine dining restaurant that my mom and I went and on the table next to ours were a group of eunuchs enjoying the ambience and good food. It felt nice.
Hi Oxy..:) been long! Glad to see your comment here..and wow, I am amazed to hear your restaurant incident.. Just when you begin to lose hope, things like this let you know that Change is just waiting to happen.
Thanks for sharing!
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